No foundation

An opinion article titled, “Good intentions, bad location” appeared recently in the Lakewood Sentinel. It begins by implying that associating certain words together triggers people’s hot buttons.

The article then states the intentions of a group involved with one of those words. It concludes that if this group acts on its intentions, other people will be offended. Therefore, the group should maintain goodwill by changing its plans.

The words are “mosque” and “Ground Zero.” The article implies that when some people hear the word, “mosque,” they think “terrorist.” Building the mosque would offend those people. That’s like saying people who don’t like steak sauce, won’t eat meat. It doesn’t make sense.

Most Muslims are neither terrorists nor extremists. Apparently, in some people’s minds, all Muslims are terrorists. Instead of telling Muslims not to build mosques, these people should try changing their minds by substituting facts for emotional reactions.

I have no opinion regarding whether a mosque should be built two blocks from “Ground Zero.” But, I can’t accept an emotional reaction as a substitute for a reasoned argument. You can’t build a mosque, or a strong argument, without a foundation – something this article lacks.

Second best

The world’s second tallest building is called Taipei 101. The second heaviest gold bar in the world is stored in Jinguashi. The tunnel through Hsuehshan is the second longest in Asia. Each of these second bests was a first in its time.

What is noteworthy is not that these once were the tallest, heaviest, and longest of their kind. No, what is noteworthy is that they are all located in Taiwan. This little island, and its even littler outlying islands, occupies an area of only 13,900 square miles. My own state, Colorado, occupies 104,091 square miles, roughly seven times Taiwan’s size. Colorado isn’t threatened by surrounding states, yet Taiwan faces frequent intimidation from mainland China. Perhaps the threat of invasion explains why Taiwan has achieved so much. Perhaps the explanation lies elsewhere. Regardless, Taiwan’s example is something to strive for.

Out of context party quiz question

24. All Tomorrow's Parties is

A. A song by the Velvet Underground

B. A novel by William Gibson

C. A 2003 Chinese science fiction movie

D. All of the above  

International Monetary Fund official owns up to corruption

I recently received correspondence which sheds light on the current recession and international financial matters. The letter follows, and I'm glad to know that something is being done to end the financial crisis.


INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND
(IMF) HEAD OFFICE

Dear Fund Beneficiary,

This is to intimate you of a very important information which will be of a great help to redeem you from all the difficulties you have been experiencing in getting your long over due payment due to excessive demand for money from you by both corrupt Bank officials and Courier Companies after which your fund remain unpaid to you. I am Mr.John Lee, a highly placed official of the International Monetary Fund (IMF).

It may interest you to know that reports have reached our office by so many correspondences on the uneasy way which people like you are treated by Various Banks and Courier Companies/ Diplomat across Europe to Africa and Asia /London Uk and we have decided to put a stop to that and that is why I was appointed to handle your transaction here in Nigeria. All Governmental and Non-Governmental prostates, NGOs, Finance Companies, Banks, Security Companies and Courier companies which have been in contact with you of late have been instructed to back up from your transaction and you have been advised NOT to respond to them anymore since the IMF is now directly in charge of your payment.

You are hereby advised NOT to remit further payment to any institutions with respect to your transaction as your fund will be transferred to you directly from our source.I hope this is clear. Any action contrary to this instruction is at your own risk.

Colorado Serves Up Tasty Blues

Stopped by the stage at 13th and Lincoln and savored some tasty blues. The Catfish Kray Blues Band played Saturday at the Taste of Colorado festival. Pictured are Catfish Kray (center) flanked by Greg Sage on trumpet and Joe Lilly on sax. Not shown are, drummer, Ari Rubenstein and vocalist Jesse Garland.

No Cow Town Now

I really take offense with people who say that Denver is just an overgrown cow town. Take for example, Dan Ostermiller’s sculpture outside the Denver Art Museum. It's pure culture—on par with the kind you'd find in some other stuck-up, over-blown, namby-pamby, big city. There are no overgrown cows in my mile-high city--just art, thank you. So there, you big apple, you.

Online spelling and grammar

Yo, Illiterate! Yes, I mean you. I suppose you figure that you don’t need to proofread your writing before you post it online. You think I won’t notice. Well I do. In fact, I notice it everywhere — on blogs, newsgroups, why hell, even on television station websites.

If you’re not using grammar and spell checkers, you should be. And, if you are, then you need to acknowledge their limitations. Proofread, damn it.

English is a language full of quirky rules and still quirkier exceptions to those rules. This queer old aunt of a language must be preserved in all her peculiar glory. Your wholesale online abuse of English must stop at once. If you don’t mend your ways, then no one will respect the rules of English and God help us, writing will look like this:

“Then saw I all the half y-grave with famous folke's names fele, that hadde been in muche weal, and their fames wide y-blow. But well unnethes might I know any letters for to read their names by; for out of dread they were almost off thawed so, that of the letters one or two were molt away of ev'ry name, so unfamous was wox their fame.”

That was Geoffrey Chaucer. His English is not up to modern day standards. Some of you writing on social media are destroying what remains of those. Your disregard for grammar rules is diminishing its preciseness. Your sloppiness allows carelessness to creep into your thinking and that of your readers.

George Orwell would be appalled to learn how on social media emotion laden yet fact-free phrases substitutes for thinking that doesn't go deep enough to even get wet. Reverse course, oh slipshod scribes before it's too late. 

Michael Jackson Lives

--- Fresh intelligence from unnamed sources ---

It was a ruse. Michael lives. He and the King are both alive and well. Just like Elvis, Michael became tired of his fame and notoriety and faked his own death. The so-called “Michael,” was, in fact, an unnamed middle-aged, middle class, man of indeterminate race who succumbed to a Propofol allergy while undergoing routine vasectomy surgery. The corpse was smuggled to the Jackson residence by a covert team of underpaid Hollywood physicians. The real Jackson is purported to be vacationing on the planet, Tralfamadore. As they say on Tralfamadore, “So it goes.”